Fangirling...You're doing it wrong #fangirl #KipMoore #JaredLeto #DrPhil #fanfiction

You may have seen recently all over social media a story about a woman that decided to leave her husband after attending a Meet and Greet with her favorite celebrity musician, Kip Moore. Watch the clip here:

Kip Moore is not a household name by any means, but if you listen to country radio, you probably know at least one of his hits, such as "Beer Money" from a few years ago. Evidently, Kip is very friendly and outgoing at his Meet and Greets and often chats up his fans.

Jenna is one of those fans. And after meeting Kip Moore, she decided she was "in love" and had to divorce her husband and get to Kip in some way to make sure he falls in love with her, too.

This story hit a little too close to home for me. Several people who know me sent it to me, in fact, teasing me that I was like Jenna. That's because for a few years I have been a huge fangirl of Jared Leto and have attended several Meet and Greets myself. 

One of those encounters was the inspiration for my novella, Invisible Ink, which I'm releasing on Dec. 31. 

Here are the differences between fans like myself and poor Jenna. If you're fangirling, there are rules. And Jenna, I'm sorry to tell you sister, you're doing it wrong.

The Rules of Fangirling (or things for every fangirl to remember):

1. This is for fun, not real life. Social media has made it easier than ever to feel connected to our favorite guys in movies and in bands. We can meet other fans and obsess together over Tumblr and Twitter. More and more commonly, we can also purchase Meet and Greet tickets to get a picture with our guy. But no matter what, we must remember our love for our celebrities is a fantasy. This kind of love not meant to become real. In fact, making it real would take all of the fun and mystery out of our fangirl activities. The guy you're crushing on is probably perfect in your head, but we all know real men are NOT perfect. Enjoy that fantasy.

2. Although we know a lot about them, these guys don't know us. You probably know his favorite movies, his birthday, his friends on social media. But he has no clue who you are. Even if a member of your favorite band says hi to you, or remembers you from show to show, that still doesn't mean you're friends with him. He likely doesn't know you exist. In order to be a good fangirl, you have to be comfortable with this fact and STILL love the guy.

3. The "love" you feel when you meet a celebrity crush is not real love. Speaking of love, Jenna says when she locked eyes with Kip, it was "love at first sight." I have a feeling a lot of other fans would report having this experience. But, it's called being starstruck. It's a powerful rush, but it's not love.

3. A 24-page letter to your celebrity crush is never a good idea. Jenna says she wrote Kip a 12 page letter -- front and back -- explaining her love for him. Unless you're 10 years old, this is psycho-stalker behavior. No dude is ever going to read this. Please NEVER give a celebrity a letter like this unless you want to be banned from future Meet and Greets. 

4. Contacting the celebrity's management is off limits. Jenna also says she contacted Kip's people trying to figure out a way she could talk to him and propose marriage (she also wrote this on her car.) Again, if you get to this point in your obsession, you have gone too far.

5. Most importantly, if your celebrity obsession starts to interfere with your real life, take a step back. From personal experience, I can tell you, it's not worth the fights you will have with your loved ones over your obsession with a famous person who doesn't know you exist. Once your lines between reality and fantasy start to blur, as they clearly did in Jenna's case, you need to remove yourself from your crush behaviors. Get off social media. Delete other fangirls from your phone. 

So what should you do if you feel like you're going to break these rules?

One option is to write down your fantasy. This is how I decided to write Invisible Ink. I wrote it at first for other fangirls and then decided to make it into something more. It was a great outlet for my obsession and allowed me to explore that obsession without seeming TOO insane.

Hopefully it won't get me banned from future Meet and Greets!

To crushes,

Elisabeth