Why in my 30s I finally wrote a book - and it's smut

These are my notebooks full of stories I wrote from age 12 to 14

These are my notebooks full of stories I wrote from age 12 to 14

I'm a 34 year old stay-at-home mom. But before that -- before I was anyone's girlfriend, wife, or mom -- I was a writer. And a fangirl.

When I was 12, I fell in love for the first time, not with a boy, but with a band. This band, it just so happened, was popular well before I was born. Yep, I became obsessed with the Beatles. Part of this obsession was writing Beatles fan fic in which I (as the heroine, Alex) fell in love with Paul McCartney. This first stories, which I still have copies of, are hilariously flowery and full of "I love you"s and over-the-top flattery. The premise of the stories changed -- sometimes Alex was a reporter covering the band, sometimes she was a groupie in the days before they became famous around the world, sometimes she was a fellow songwriter. But she always fell in love with Paul and drama ensued.

I never once wrote an ending to any of these stories. But I kept writing them by hand in spiral notebooks all throughout middle school.

In high school, I moved on to writing about real boys. I wrote ridiculous poems filled with angst. My fictional stories were full of a lot more longing. None of these pieces ever contained any sex. In fact, when I got to the "sex part" of some of my books, I would just write in big letters "SEX SCENE," thinking I would go back to write it later once I had actually, you know...had sex and knew what the hell to write. I always wanted to write a romance novel but I didn't have the experience I needed.

As I grew up, I knew I wanted to make a career out of being a writer. It was the only thing I could really do well. But somewhere along the way, I gave up fiction writing and became more practical in my goals. I became a journalist -- and a very dedicated one. I earned graduate degree in journalism from one of the world's top journalism schools. I worked as a reporter for six years and in public relations for another two years.

Then I decided to resurrect Alex.

The inspiration for Invisible Ink was drawn just slightly from a real life experience. No, I didn't have sex with any hot rockstar (I'm happily married!) but I did have a massive crush. The crush led me to create this story, which I originally shared in another form on a Tumblr blog. I received so much positive feedback from my blog posts that I have now turned them into a novella edited by Amber Lea Easton.

Invisible Ink is not the typical erotic romance, mostly because I wrote it without any knowledge of what's popular or traditional in the genre. Although I love to write smut, I rarely have had time to read it in the last few years. Plus, I absolutely hated Fifty Shades of Grey. So, I knew going into this that I might not really "fit in" perfectly with the genre. The story has some cheating it in and it's not traditionally structured like other novels. 

I wrote this story for me. My number one rule in writing it was if thinking about the scenarios didn't get me off in real life, they weren't going to go in the book. In my head, I feel I have lived Lex's adventure. This writing process might not have been the most healthy way to write erotic romance, but I think it made for a super hot end product!

I'm still waiting to hear back from one publisher to which I submitted it a month or two ago. If I get a "no," I'm going to self-publish Invisible Ink. I hope you'll like it as much as I do.